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Is fear of failure running and ruining your life?

Probably. Most people are more motivated by fear of failure than by inspiration. It’s at the core of all performance anxiety.

This is about your inspirational life, not the mundane part that has to follow rules, laws of physics and laws of society. This is about your creative expression invocation, avocation, and love.

To me, the concept of success and failure are deeply flawed. They shouldn’t even exist as concepts. The terms are overused and associated with shame, value, and self-worth. It is used as a defining concept to motivate people, which makes no sense. It stunts growth and development on all levels.

There’s all this focus on how to recover from failure, how to overcome failure, how to avoid failure and the value of failing. There is also a hyper-focus on failure in most institutional settings (government, education, business, and relationships). And the end result is that creativity and inspiration are buried under a pile of fear and avoidance.

The triad of risk, failure, and shame has dominated all aspects of life for far too long. Education, art, enterprise, and relationships are all polluted by the presence of these concepts. Children lose their joy of singing, spreading lines and colors on paper (or any other surface they find) and moving as the concepts of failure (or doing it the right way) and criticism are imposed on their joy.

Do you draw, paint, sing or dance with abandon? Or will you only do it when no one is around? Why? And aren’t we all guilty on some level of passing on the process to our children or other people?

It’s time to eliminate success/failure as a concept and replace it with inspiration, potential, and enjoyment. It’s time to find better ways to teach and support that is based on connecting with the joy rather than threatening embarrassment or rejection. It’s time to become aware of the dynamic that’s so deeply embedded in our experience that we don’t even recognize that it’s running and ruining the show.

This is an amazing opportunity to redefine how we perceive and live. I’m not talking about eliminating limits, boundaries or even competition. This is about how we teach and learn about limits and boundaries without using failure and shame as part of the motivation. It’s about reconnecting with the energy or creativity and inspiration without the noise and friction of fear.

First, become conscious of the triad of risk, failure, and shame that exists in your life. Be sensitive to understanding the power it has over you and thinks about how your life would change without it. Notice how the concept of success/failure is part of this process. Be aware and let it be.

Second, try a new thought pattern. Notice the origin to your resistance to following an impulse. Is it legitimate (dangerous or hurtful) or is it tied to the fallacy of fear of failure and shame? (For example, think about singing in front of people you know. For most people the fear is palpable.)

Third, focus on what you are doing and when the resistance appears to say, “I transform resistance into energy and love.” Then refocus on what you’re doing. Fourth, if the friction of fear is too high to overcome at the moment, remind yourself that repetition is how you acquired the fear and repetition is how you will change the fear. It will get easier with each repetition.

Of course, if you are working with a great energy worker, particularly or , the changes will be easier, faster and deeper. And the more you do this the more fun it will be. You will find your inspiration and energy for trying new things will expand and drive you to new levels of thriving in life.

Living a fully inspired existence is spiritual prosperity. Enjoy!

In Light and Love,

Kris

P.S. Your comments and questions are always greatly appreciated.

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